When we got the call about Errin, Nancy told us she weighed eight pounds, had blue eyes, and blonde hair, which was rare. Most Romanian’s have Roma or Gypsy ancestry, with dark curly hair, olive skin, and the most beautiful sparky hazel eyes of many different shades. We were told later that “true Romanians” come from Eastern European descent and have blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. We truly didn’t care what color she was, or how much she weighed, we just knew she was always meant to be part of our family.

We spent that first week waiting for who knows what, and going to more government offices to sign more things I had no idea what I was signing for. Each day seemed to be another cold, dark, gray, rainy day. I realized early on, that whatever you were told one day from any government official whether in the United States or in Romania, it would be different when you went back. This was the biggest frustration and test of patience for me! You would spend hours waiting in lines with the documentation and paperwork you had been told to get the previous time, and when you finally got to the window, the rules had changed. It was either no longer needed, the requirements had changed, or more documentation had been added to the list. I’ve never in my life seen so much government disorganization, and bureaucratic red tape. It did no good to argue, or get angry, you just had to smile, take the new list, say thank you, and tell them you would be back as soon as you had all the new things they asked for. I began to wonder if there would ever be a time when they finally said yes, that covers it, you can take your baby home and have the rest of a wonderful life!

This is my least favorite part of our adoption to talk about, but sadly it’s a reality. One day Nic took us to a Romanian bank to exchange our U.S. currency to Romanian money. He insisted we walk there. I about had a heart attack when the bank teller handed us three very large paper bag brown grocery sacks filled all the way to the top with Romanian money! Stacks and stacks of it. There was no way to cover it up, no way for us to walk out of the bank and conceal it, and only dad and Nic there for protection. At the time the money in Romania was called Lei (pronounced Lay). The exchange rate was great because the Lei wasn’t worth much due to the instability of the recently overthrown government. I felt like I had a target on my back as we walked all the way back to the apartment with those heavy bags full of money. We got a lot of strange looks, including some questionable ones from the people working at the bank. I have never felt more vulnerable and unsafe in my life. I couldn’t wait to give it all to Val and not have to be responsible for it anymore. I prayed so hard that day, I was scared to death we would be robbed or worse. It disgusts me that people in this world put a price on a human life.

Soon after we got the money, we were surprised one evening when Elena came and told us we would be getting Errin the next day!!! We hadn’t done the Romanian part of the adoption yet, but it had been decided the time had come. Val had been paying the maternity hospital to keep Errin and Dumitra, her birth mother, until our paperwork was in order to get Errin. Val was nervous to have Errin go to an orphanage because she would not be fed, have her diaper changed, be held, and probably would be abused. We had also sent disposable diapers for them to use on her. Here I was in the very same city, and couldn’t even go see her because of the danger from the secret police. I was so anxious, I don’t think I slept at all that night. It was worse than waiting for Christmas morning!!! In less than 24 hours, I would be holding her in my arms! Due to the safety issues, and the secret police, instead of us going to get Errin, Val had someone pick her up along with Dumitra and her mother. They brought them to Manole and Lucci’s apartment the next morning.

This is the first time we were able to meet Val in person! We had an instant connection just as we had with his brother Nic, Rodika and Elena. Have you noticed when you meet good people, you can “feel” it? I trusted these people with my life, and I barely knew them. When they brought her in she was swaddled in two tight blankets, and was totally covered from head to toe.

Elena was standing over me as Dumitra handed Errin to me. I moved the blanket away from her face, and saw two frightened, big, gorgeous blue eyes staring up at me!!!

As soon as our eyes met, there was a physical charge that not only went through my body, but it was felt by everyone in the room! It was tangible! So tangible that Elena gasped and said, “Can you feel that?!!!! She knows!!! She knows!!!!” And it was true! The moment our eyes met, Errin went from a look of sheer terror to a look of complete relief. As if to say, “It’s YOU!!! You’re FINALLY here!!!! I’ve been waiting six weeks for you to come, I thought you’d NEVER come!!! Where have you been?!!! I’m safe now!” The angels were close that day. 

When we began this journey I recall thinking how easy this would be. I wouldn’t have to get sick, and I wouldn’t have to get fat. All I would have to do in get on an airplane, go pick her up, and bring her back home. I was so naive! When they say a mother goes through the valley of the shadow of death to give birth to a child, they are not wrong. The same holds true with adoption. I believe it has to be this way. If it were easy, it would be close to impossible to have that mother/child bond. She may not have been born of my body, but she was born of my heart, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt she was always meant to be mine. The Lord loves effort, and adoption takes a lot of that! This is honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, and I’m now almost 60 years old. I learned so much from this experience. It’s one I don’t regret, but grateful to never have to go through again.

I don’t know what I was expecting with the exchange, but it wasn’t quite what I thought it would be. Dumitra’s mother was emotional, and looked much older than her real age. Most likely only in her 40’s, she was a stooped over, weather worn, work hardened old woman.

My heart broke for her. She KNEW what they were giving up here. On the other hand, her young sixteen-year-old, un-wed daughter had no idea. She was happy and smiling. Intrigued with our camera, and the gifts we had brought for her.

I had cross-stitched a beautiful heart shaped pillow for her, but she was more interested in the clothing and candy we had brought. Through Val and Elena, we understood the only thing they wanted for this baby was a good home in America.

I wish I could have gotten more family information from them, but Val had cautioned me beforehand not to ask too many questions, and for the exchange to be short and sweet. We did find out later, the birth dad was 22, but we were not given a name or any other information. For a child to be adoptable in Romania, the mother and father could not be married or living together, and the birth mother had to be destitute.

Val, Rodika and Nic took Dumitra and her mother to the bank and set up a savings account for her. Val told me, there was enough to set her up for the rest of her life if she were careful with it. At the time, the average monthly income in Romania was $40 a month. Val instructed her how to take care of it, and then took them back to their home in Branistea.

Elena stayed with us to give Errin a medical check-up, as she was a pediatrician in Romania. Somehow, they had found a small space heater and we were able to warm up the room. I un-wrapped the two flannel type receiving blankets, and took her little hat off. We discovered the tiniest little body I’ve ever seen outside of a hospital NICU. She was nowhere near the 8 pounds they told us she was at birth. In fact, doctors here think she was closer to 2 pounds at birth. The skin hung off her fragile little skeletal frame. There was not one ounce of fat on her anywhere. One foot was badly twisted. The bottom of that foot was bent up and touching her ankle. I remember thinking she would need surgery to fix that, but I wasn’t worried about it. Elena told us it was only a muscular issue, and showed us how to massage it to get it back into the position it should be. By the time we got home, it was barely noticeable. It didn’t go away completely until she started walking – I mean running – at nine months old!  What Errin lacks in size, she makes up for in spit and vinegar. She’s a fighter. She’s a survivor. She was born that way because she had to be to live.

We also discovered she had not had a bath since birth. Her hands had dried blood inside her clenched little fists, as well as every crack, crevice and wrinkle on her body. I remember being grateful she had been swaddled. Had she gotten her hands in her mouth, it would have made her so sick. The smell was nauseating.

I asked Luci if she could help prepare a bowl of warm water for Elena and me to bathe Errin in. Luci was concerned about the bath, but I was adamant. Evidently they don’t bathe their babies much over there. I wanted to wash off all that yucky stuff from her birth six weeks prior, lotion up her dry little body, put a real diaper on, a brand new onesie, new soft footed jammies, and snuggle her up in a warm clean blankie.

Errin was a good sport about most of this, and we couldn’t believe how calm and mild mannered she was. She wasn’t too sure about the bath, but once we got her all wrapped up again, she was content and happy as could be.

I mentioned we had taken disposable diapers for the maternity hospital to use on her. If they used them, they didn’t put one on her the day we got her, nor did they send any back. Luckily we took plenty, although they were huge on her. I brought the newborn size with the umbilical cord cutout in the diaper and we had to double fold them at the waist, but they were still big. She had already lost her umbilical cord when we got her. In Romania they take a flannel type fabric receiving size blanket and use it for a diaper. It’s a one thickness diaper, which didn’t make a lot of sense to me. They placed the baby on it so one corner went up their back past the top of the baby’s head. Brought the opposite corner up through their legs, then wrapped the other two corners around their body. As you can imagine, Errin was soaked all the way through when we got her. They had her dressed in a little outfit that I so desperately wanted to keep, but Elena told me the maternity hospital was so low on clothing, hats, and blankets that it would be kind of us to return them. I decided another baby needed those things more than Errin ever would, even as a memory. So we washed them by hand, and sent them back with Elena.

We learned the maternity hospital had only been feeding her twice a day, with a very expensive Hungarian baby formula. Elena tried and tried, to get some at any cost but they would not sell it to her at any price, nor would they accept any bribes. They brought her with one bottle of it, and she drank it quickly. I was forced to move her to the Soy Based Formula my pediatrician had instructed me to bring. I prayed she would be able to tolerate it.

One of the first things we had to do after we got her, was get her Romanian Passport photo. Errin’s poor little face was covered with mosquito bites. I counted 22 of them one day, it broke my heart. She looked like she had measles. It was impossible to keep them off of us in the apartment. The windows were always open for ventilation from the gas cook stove which was always turned on to help heat the apartment. Without that, the cold would have been unbearable. I didn’t want Errin out of my sight, however, they decided it would be best if we didn’t go with her to have the photo taken so as not to draw any more attention than necessary. Elena took Errin to have her picture taken.

Each time I look at those two little black and white picture it makes me sad. I wasn’t with her, and you can see the fear in her eyes. I remember thinking how the days were so long. I just wanted to go home, where I could be sick in my own house, and lay in my own bed, and brush my teeth with water straight out of the tap. We needed Errin’s official Romanian paperwork before we could complete the Romanian portion of the adoption, and part of that included her Romanian passport. This took a couple days, and I was grateful to stay at the apartment with Errin to rest.

My morning sickness had ramped up since we got her, and I was not doing well. Those helping us were beginning to wonder why I was always sick and laying down, and my dad was taking care of me and Errin. My excuse of being sick from traveling on the airplane wasn’t working anymore, and I was getting a little frantic. Sweet Lucci even went out early one morning and got bread with butter to make me some toast, as well as some room temperature milk. She toasted the bread over the burner on the gas stove top, and spread it with lots of butter. It looked good, but the bread was as hard as a rock, and the butter was rancid. The milk was warm and sour. It didn’t stay down for more than five minutes. I felt so bad because she had worked so hard to try and find something to help me feel better. Elena was getting concerned about me as well, and brought her mother Rodika over one day to sit with Errin at the apartment to give my dad a break and to get me outside. Elena tried to take me to a beauty salon to have my nails done, but the smell inside made me sicker. So she decided a walk would do instead. Suddenly, two crude men came up on each side of me, picked me up by the arms and started carrying me away. Elena was chasing after us, yelling at them, and we were both hitting at them and trying to beat them off. Where I got the strength to make them let me go, and get away still amazes me to this day. There were only two times I went out without my dad, and both times, men came and tried to take me away. After the second time, I refused to leave without a man with us. I wondered why Heavenly Father had abandoned me in this God forsaken place! The thought came into my mind, that Satan did not want this child to come to a Christian home, and would do anything he could to prevent it. At the same time, God would do all in His power to make it happen, and that good would prevail. I just needed to have the fortitude to hold on and get through it. It wasn’t until after I returned home and began to ponder about my experience, that I realized miracles happened every day! I knew I had been protected and ministered to from angels on both sides of the veil! There is no other way to explain the miracles that transpired in regard to our safety, and the fulfillment of what was often seemingly impossible tasks necessary to complete the adoption process in this strange and foreign country.

I didn’t want to tell anyone I was pregnant for fear it would jeopardize us getting Errin. I was so sick, and had lost so much weight that my clothes had started to hang on me. I was scared for my unborn baby boy, and prayed he would be ok. I even began to fear for my own life. I didn’t know how much longer I could hang on. I was so sick of the cigarette smoke, and the smells everywhere we went. There was no way to get away from it. Then one night Manole decided to paint the apartment during the middle of the night, with the exception of our room. We had our door closed. I woke up the next morning with the worst headache, and the smell was so strong it made me dizzy. I could even taste it! The bucket was sitting in the hallway and we were able to make out that it was oil based lead paint. Seriously, could it get any harder?!!! I decided I would only tell those helping us that I was pregnant after the Romanian portion of the adoption was complete and we were on our way back to Bucharest to finish up the American VISA paperwork to get her home. I didn’t think we would be in Galati very much longer, and I would hold out until then. But things don’t always go according to our plans . . . the LIGHT is always there, sometimes it’s just dim and you have to squint to see it. There’s still more to come in our adoption story. Have a wonderful LIGHT filled week!

Love Ya, Les :)

Family

Chapter Eight : The Day Long Awaited For