The holidays are not always bright and cheery for everyone. It seems there are many who lose loved ones during this time. Sometimes the passing is a blessing, and the culmination of a life well lived. And sometimes the loss is sudden, unexpected, and tragic.

This month is a tender month for me. Seven years ago, we lost our first grandson on December 14th. I have never experienced anything so heart wrenching in my life as I watched my son lose his son, and almost his wife. As a mother, you want to jump in and make it better. And I wanted more than anything to fix it, and make the outcome different. But this is part of life.

We come here at our appointed time, and we leave when the Lord calls us home. There were angels on both sides of the veil who surrounded us with love, compassion, and support during that horrific time. This type of loss feels like you will never recover, wondering how life can ever be joyful again. The emptiness of knowing what was to be, will never be again . . . at least not here on this earth. The weight at times seems too much to carry.

There are opportunities in our lives when we can be someone’s angel, and there are instances when other’s become our angels in our times of need. This loss made me keenly aware of the angelic service rendered to our family, at a particularly busy time of year. Since then, I have tried to do the same for others when I see a need. I’m not perfect, but it feels good to pay it forward when I can.

Many say losing a loved one gets better with time. After seven years, it’s not much better for me. I have just come to terms with the fact, it is what it is. The pain will always be there. The hole in my heart will never go away. However, there is always HOPE and LIGHT in Christ!

Our sweet Kai is living his best life in Heaven, and I can’t wait for that long awaited hug someday. Until then, it’s up to us who are still here to Live, and Love, and Serve, and Move Forward in spite of the pain that lies just below the surface.

This loss consumed every thought for a very long time, and it’s difficult not to feel guilty when you begin to focus back on everyday life out of necessity. Time is your friend, because it makes it that much closer to when you will be with your loved ones again. It also helps to calm the pain in your heart from what was once a 15 on the 1-10 pain scale, to a dull ache. It is ok to move slowly through all the stages of grief. Some are easier to navigate than others, but our loving Heavenly Father does not desire for us to get stuck in our grief.

It’s important to process each stage as necessary to heal as best we can, but then it is imperative to seek for Joy, Peace and Comfort in the pursuit to find happiness and LIGHT again.

It’s a long battle, but worth it to live a joyful life, until we ourselves are called back home to Him, and our loved ones. It’s also important to climb that mountain every day. The climb is often steep and difficult, but it’s the only way to experience the unimaginable view at the top!

Here are two of my favorite books that have helped me more than anything in this journey of loss. I often gift these to friends and family as they enter the journey of loss and grief.

https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Other-Side-Gospel-Teaches/dp/1609070461

https://www.amazon.com/Lemons-Friday-Trusting-Greatest-Heartbreak/dp/0785241272/ref=sr_1_2?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.iZthCGkBSX_oiuzG__hSqnjPLsPDcCcIT0lQy-uVzSLfzK3CjTcGYusUZ9HNTdqsWqUQDUjGPQH-ytWZjuVnVgE3D2konYowUQdp2hKbiKTbkbvs4vmy0wM-yl2SJdBnJAdSSUYpIW-a0SsbNYfDDA.TSFca9pj5krgP0tnYRdyMFbHMedQ2Ph0rC21cLD6zTE&dib_tag=se&qid=1734424314&refinements=p_27%3AMattie.+Jackson&s=books&sr=1-2

Ron and I also lost a dear friend a couple weeks ago. This valiant man fought a lifelong battle with depression that at times was debilitating.

In the end, it was the medications he had to take in order to function with the depression that through the years slowly destroyed his internal organs. Walter is now free of the invisible disease that many don’t understand. Depression is real, and just as a diabetic needs insulin to survive, some that suffer from depression and mental illness need medications just the same, to help them live with a disease that is just as serious as diabetes.

Walter was an incredible landscape artist, and filled this world with beauty. He was a kind and gentle soul. One of Walter’s friends shared how Walter transformed their tiny backyard into a lovely garden.

One of the things Walter loved to incorporate into the gardens he created was the use of LIGHT. This friend said, “With irrigation and illumination, Walter brought Light and Life to the garden.”

Just as the Savior had done for us here on this earth. Because of Him, we can withstand the trials, struggles and loss we experience here in life because He provided us a way back to Him.

And until that day comes He gives us Light and Life to weather the storms, and make our way through darkness of night. Walter’s friend continued, “Everything good about Walter, has been made better by Jesus. Walter’s heart is so big, because he allowed Jesus to change it.” ~ Aaron West. “Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.” ~Ezra Taft Benson

It was an honor to know this man. Walter fought the good fight, endured to the end, and found his way home for Christmas.

This Christmas season, I pray you are all on the, “Be an angel in someone’s life today” side of the fence. However, if you are the one being ministered to by the angels that surround you, feel blessed to know they are there to love and care for you. It’s just as important to receive the LIGHT as it is to give the LIGHT! Either way, we are all in His garden and it is filled with irrigation and illumination – sustenance for both our bodies and souls.

This week, look for ways to illuminate someone’s life as we seek for ways to be someone’s angel!

Love Ya, Les :)