I started sewing at the age of three. My work obviously wasn’t glamorous, usable, or even worth saving at that age; however, working with scraps of fabric and a needle and thread helped me learn the basics of hand sewing. Soon after I graduated to the sewing machine. Our mother was a task master, which at times made it difficult to enjoy the learning process as she demanded perfection. If perfection wasn’t attained and if the inside of the garment didn’t look as good as the outside, we unpicked it and re-did it until it did. We became excellent seamstresses, but at great cost to our self-worth. This became a great cause for anxiety for me; but through the years I began to come up with other methods on my own, and that made it more enjoyable.

The difficult part, is that due to my perfectionist training, I became my own worst critic. Sadly that perfection gene was strongly embedded. Through the years I became an accomplished seamstress, but with almost each and every project I became really good at telling myself that I couldn’t do it, and that I would fail. This type of pressure becomes paralyzing! Because of my fear of failure, or not achieving perfection in EVERY single project, I battle the paralysis each time I begin a project – even to this day! To those who may not know me on a personal level, they would laugh and say, you’re kidding right? I’ve won many state and national sewing competitions. I won my first and top of the line Bernina sewing machine when I was in the eighth grade. Thanks to dedicated, selfless school teachers who encouraged me in positive ways, I also earned numerous scholarships to just about any college or university I could possibly want to go to . . . but with each project came that fear of failure . . . would I ever be enough?!!!! Would I ever be good enough?!!!! I have a degree in clothing and textiles with a minor in fashion merchandising, and an Emmy for my part in the costumes for opening/closing ceremonies for the 2002 Salt Lake Olympic Winter Games, and yet I STILL fear the failure!!!

As I’ve taught others to sew through the years, I find I don’t have that same expectation of them. The perfection criticism only applies to me. I applaud those who have the desire to learn to sew, and compliment them on their progress. As long as they are happy with the outcome, that’s all that really matters. I believe it is important to accept other’s work as the best they are capable of at that moment in their lives, and bless them for the desire to learn and to try!!! The more we peel back the layers of doubt in our talents and abilities, the more they begin to shine with the “Light” our Father in Heaven meant for them to have when He gave them to us! I believe when we came to this earth, we brought with us the talents and abilities specifically tailored for each of us individually. It is up to us to learn all we can, and discover what those talents are, so that we can share them with others! Doing this makes the world a diverse and colorful place to live because each one of us brings different things to the table.

This is one of my favorite quotes. “The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before. Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty. You might say I’m not the creative type. If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit children of the most creative being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it. Your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination. The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create.” ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I have tried to be more patient with myself in the way I judge the perfection of the things I create. This is much easier when I’m doing something for myself. It’s much harder when I feel the pressure of performing at an elite level of perfection when creating something for someone else.

I have two daughters, and was so excited to teach them to sew when they were young. I saved and saved and bought each one a beautiful shiny new Bernina sewing machine for their eighth birthday. Somehow I magically thought they would immediately embrace the desire to learn to sew. I had high hopes I would be able to pass down to them the skills I had learned, without the pressure of perfectionism. What I soon realized, is that neither one of them had any desire at all to get past making pillow cases and pajama bottoms for themselves, family and friends! At first this was a crushing blow to me . . . that feeling of failure hit me once again. What I didn’t learn until years later, was that it was ok for them to only want to make pillow cases and pajama bottoms!!!! If that’s as far as they wanted to learn, and it gave them joy, and they were serving others, then the mission had been accomplished. Besides, they have many other talents and abilities that more than compensate for their not wanting to become world class seamstresses!

The other thing I have learned, is that some of my grand-daughters have the desire to learn to craft and sew!!!! I don’t know how far they will take it, but some of my most treasured times with them have been behind the pedal of my sewing machine, or the grip of a glue gun. Yep, we’ve made a lot of pillow cases, little purses, and pillows – and what a wonderful thing that is!!!! My oldest grand-daughter, Oakley, has sewn quite a few things, and we’ve even overcome the challenge of me trying to teach her being a lefty, and I’m a righty! I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for left handed people to learn how to do everything backwards in a right-handed world!!! Oak is an independent spirit, and likes to do things on her own. You can see the red dress and bow she made without a pattern when she was younger. She does a beautiful job, and I hope she continues with her desire to learn, grow, and accomplish the things she wants to create.

Her next younger sister, Macey, hasn’t shown the desire to sew yet, but makes the most beautiful and creative craft projects with rocks, sticks and other things she finds in nature. I love her uninhibited expression of beauty and art!

The youngest and spunkiest, Tinley, recently came and made a stuffed bunny and face masks. She sleeps with her bunny every single night! These creations become a part of each beautiful girl!

My other daughter Errin’s little girl Brynnlee just came last weekend and made her first pillowcase!!! She did such a good job, and stuck with it until she was finished! She was so proud of her accomplishment, and so was I!

I found this anonymous quote that reminds of these beautiful girls that call me Grandma Les. “Being creative is not a single act, but the act of living itself. The creative woman is on fire with imagination, ignited by the certainty of her relationship with a living God and her surety of purpose. She lives in freedom, not measuring herself by the lives around her. She takes calculated risks, understanding the value of going beyond the horizon of the known and coming back to report what she has discovered. She tackles life’s challenges with heart, hands and faith.”

I can’t wait to see what they accomplish in their lives as they seek after and embrace their creative talents and abilities!!! May their lights burn forever brightly in all the righteous things they accomplish, and may we all be a little easier on ourselves . . . perfection is not a talent worth pursuing. Just do the best you can, and give yourself credit for the effort! And don’t forget to share of your light with others as you share your talents and abilities whatever they may be.

Love Ya Lots, Les

Create

Sewing and the Desire to Create